Is porno the other lover?

What makes porno such a dirty word – especially in relationships? When the woman comes home & sees her partner jacking off to porn – why does she get so mad? On the one hand, you could argue that at least he (or she) isn’t off screwing someone else – but is it a form of cheating? That depends. If they won’t screw you but are happy to look at porn – there should be warning bells.

What if it just happened that they were horny & you weren’t available? These things need to be discussed before you threaten to leave. Men aren’t the only ones who enjoy porn – but society seems to view a women enjoying porn as a nympho. It would be so much easier if both men & women agreed porn has it’s place – & that if we’re going to use porn – then at least agree to share it with each other rather than hoarding it for ourselves!

If we can’t admit to each other what turns us on – then what’s the point of being together? Guilt, perversity & resentment have a lot to do with it. It also irks me that men are so allowed to be scornful when ‘confronted’ with gay male porno – but they can shout it from the rooftops when they see lesbian porn. I believe women are more open for a number of reasons – first – they can appreciate sexuality in whatever form it takes (to a degree, of course!)

Secondly – we are force fed the female form & directed to worship it – in the most idealized format – and to aspire to that same form – which is unattainable for most of us, seeing as we don’t have airbrush artists, personal trainers, etc. Thirdly – women are more likely to be oppressed sexually (which seems strange in today’s world – where we see scantily clad ‘slutty’ women everywhere!) Women can enjoy sex – as long as it’s in the terms that are issued to us by our male dominated society.

Some women think in terms of “If you can’t beat them – join them – or tear them down!”  Women can be their own worst enemies – joining the ranks of the dictatorial male dominated media & establishment – setting the sexual pace for women & impossible standards just to set women up to fail. Men enjoy this – because it keeps women busy & off their backs! Never be afraid to say you’re a feminist – with masculinist undertones! Or better yet – a Humanist!

We can all enjoy sex without fear of recrimination – just don’t use it to subjugate others or to replace the simple things like love, affection etc. And another thing – to all you right wing religious fanatics – yes – families are important – children should be protected – and it’s up to you – not the rest of us! We are adults & we will continue thinking what we want & viewing what we want (within reason!) The only reason you zealots are afraid of pornography is that it reminds you that you don’t ‘get it’ or – get it how you’d want. Jealousy is all the fun you think someone else is having!